Husband calls out wife for enabling and inciting 16-year-old daughter's newfound unhealthy habits, accuses her of being a friend more than a parent: ‘For God's sake, she's your child, not just a friend!’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 2, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

They don't give you a rule book for parenting once your little bundle of joy arrives in the world—well, they do, but it'll never prepare you for everything that happens once your tiny tot goes from an innocent darling to a sentient, autonomous human being. Parenting isn't easy—there are plenty of testimonies from mothers and fathers on countless subreddits—but it's not supposed to be. Figuring out the best way to reason with your child while painting a good level of closeness and supervision is key, and sometimes, that takes a lot longer than you'd expect. Instead of trying to be besties with your teenager, consider the repercussions of exposing them to unhealthy, mature lifestyle choices and habits. 

The father who posted this next story explains that his wife's behavior has bled into his 16-year-old daughter's lifestyle. The teenager no longer speaks to her father with the same closeness; she took up unhealthy habits that rhyme with "draping", dresses inappropriately, and even steals her parents' credit card for a $3200 prom dress. After all of this, the father's wife refuses to take any accountability for enabling her. This results in a major family feud for the books.

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  • "AITAH for telling my wife I don't recognize the person she turned our daughter into?"

    I (45M) have a 16-year-old daughter, Stephanie. She used to be a nice kid. Not perfect, not an angel, just real funny, sharp and kind... We'd go for drives, talk about music, life, dumb stuff. She
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  • used to talk to me about stuff with 100% trust in me whenever her mom or someone at school made her mad, and I'd listen. Then, about a year ago, something shifted.
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  • My wife Ava (43F) and Stephanie suddenly became inseparable. Ava has always had an obsession with becoming famous and "keeping up with trends". Every time she cooks something she posts it on her blog. Whenever
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  • she's at an event -private or not- the internet has to know before anyone else. She buys trendy clothes and doesn't wear them when the trend dies out. Obviously I know that It's her life,
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  • it wasn't a problem as she wasn't dragging any of us into it...until now. The problem is my wife started pulling Stephanie into her world the beauty appointments, designer clothes, "quick weight
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  • loss" diets, influencer junk. They were posting TikToks together, coordinating outfits, calling each other "besties." At first I didn't bat an eye, I actually thought it might be good to bond with her mom. Then Stephanie started
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  • lying. A lot. She snuck out, she got caught ving in the school bathroom and I caught her with expensive makeup that none of us bought for her. She posted
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  • pictures of herself in outfits I wouldn't even call clothes, and I'm not talking about crop tops and shorts, I mean mini skirts and short tops that barely cover anything. I brought it up - gently at first. My wife said, "She's just expressing herself." Then, "You're being controlling".
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  • Three weeks ago, I found out Stephanie took her mom's credit card, without permission, and put down a deposit on a $3,200 "dream prom dress." A custom one from a designer in LA. She didn't even tell us. I only found out because the charge hit our joint account. I was furious.
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  • I sat Stephanie down and said this had to stop. That this wasn't who she was. She rolled her eyes and said, "You're just mad I'm not your little girl anymore."
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  • Then my wife Ava chimed in and said, "She's growing. Get over it. You're being dramatic." I'm not proud, but that's when I lost it.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10500736000
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I said, "What's dramatic is the fact that our underage daughter dresses like an adult, steals and V es. For God's sake, she's your child, not just a friend. You should take care of her as I tried
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  • until now, since you encouraged this behavior!" Stephanie burst into tears and stormed upstairs. My wife told me I was disgusting for -shaming our daughter and that I was jealous of their closeness.
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  • I slept on the couch and I haven't talked to Stephanie in days. My wife still thinks I overreacted and humiliated them both.
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  • I talked about it to some of my family and they agreed that Ava's obsession spreading to our daughter isn't ideal, however, they also said that It's just a teen-phase and I should let her go through it.
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  • But I'm scared. Not just angry scared. I don't recognize my daughter, I understand she grew up but I feel like she's getting influenced by her mother and she's going down the wrong path. So.. AITAH?
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  • Pristine-Mastodon-37 "No I'm mad that you're a thief and a liar" NTA
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  • apietenpol NTA I raised a teenage daughter with my ex, who refused to actually discipline or parent. This will not get better until your wife pulls her head out of her a There are so many red flags here. You may want to decide if you truly see a future with this woman.
    via apietenpol
  • t smgee1977 Your kids are NOT your friends. My kids can always tell me anything without judgement but I will advise them as a parent. It sounds like she is undermining your say in her life, and in front of her no less, which will get your daughter to treat you not as a parent.
    via t**smgee1977
  • Na honey, your wife ed up. This "bestie for the restie" crop really kills me, and let me tell you, as a teacher and someone who worked in MS, HS and now college, kids definitely need more of your parenting style and not your wife's. NTA.
    via t**smgee1977

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family drama aita entitled parents married with children reddit story family feud parenting family reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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